


death of a bachelor

by aditlep6



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, I tried to make it funny, M/M, Otayuri if you squint, and pays dearly for it, yuri teases yuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 01:31:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10956894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aditlep6/pseuds/aditlep6
Summary: Yuri plays Death of a Bachelor in the car on the way to Viktor and Yuuri's wedding rehearsal dinner.





	death of a bachelor

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where I got this idea from other than it's probably really in character for Yuri, so here it is. I tried to make it funny but it just turned into tooth-rotting fluff, but there isn't really anything wrong with that, so enjoy!

It was a cool day in April, the sakura were in bloom and Hasetsu was bustling with a combination of new seasonal activity and the occasional reporter. The Katsuki-Nikiforov wedding quickly went from happy news in the figure skating universe to almost an internationally anticipated event. Despite the popularity, only friends and family would be in attendance, and the proceedings were being rushed by their venues, lots of people in Japan wanting to get married during sakura season.

The rehearsal dinner was Saturday evening and the wedding was Sunday afternoon, and all Yuri Plisetsky hoped for was that nobody got so drunk after the rehearsal dinner that the day after would be pulling teeth for the groggy, hungover adults to take the wedding seriously. The katsudon was already anxious about _anything_ and _everything_.

Yuri was part of the wedding, much to his dismay. As much as Viktor wanted Makkachin to be the ring bearer and have the rings attached to his collar as he trotted down the aisle, the dog was too easily excited and would have probably darted into the audience in hopes for a good ear scratching. Yuri was absolutely delighted to be second choice after a dog.

Yuri only accepted the position on one condition: Otabek came to the rehearsals, even if he was just a spectator. The lovebirds quickly agreed with knowing glances and smirks to one another, and Yuri had blushed furiously, but at least he had gotten what he wanted.

Otabek wasn't going through the trouble to have his motorcycle shipped to Hasetsu for a week, so four people somehow managed to pile into Viktor's pink convertible Cadillac as transportation to the rehearsals. Yuri was practically on Otabek's lap, just as the katsudon was on Viktor's, and it was all terribly unsafe, but no one seemed to be displeased with the arrangement. 

"I'm tired of these Japanese pop stations," Yuri complained as Viktor went to switch on the stereo system, "I'm playing my music." The katsudon would have usually said something to defend whatever Yuri was insulting, but he had been quiet for a few days, so nobody objected as Yuri plugged in his phone and scrolled through his list of songs, mostly without album art. Otabek, being a DJ, could get Yuri any song free of charge, and would even remix his favorites with the personal flair only a super awesome DJ like him had.

Not that Otabek was super awesome or anything.

Nothing really stood out amongst the near thousand songs, but Yuri refused to give up, even if he secretly enjoyed J-pop. There was no way he would allow anybody, especially the people in the car, to tease him about it.

The car ride was going to be short, so he had to make the song he chose count. As his eyes quickly scanned the titles, he froze when his eyes fell on _Death of a Bachelor_ by Panic! at the Disco. It was in English, so everyone would understand it, and what better song to play right before a geezer and a piggy's wedding?

Without considering it any further, Yuri tapped the song and cranked up the volume enough so everyone could hear it over the wind of the top-down car ride. 

Within the first ten seconds of the song, Otabek recognized it and shot a disapproving glare to his left. " _Yura_ ," he nagged, just loud enough for only Yuri to hear it over the music and road noise.

"Shh," Yuri hissed, "I doubt they'll even hear it."

Yuri's eyes flicked from the road to the katsudon as the lyrics began to flow from the speakers. Nothing in the beginning was too damning, and if you didn't know the name of the song, it was just setting up for the bombshell that was the chorus.

A few lines here and there were guaranteed to catch the katsudon's attention, if he was going to be listening to the lyrics at all.

_Maybe I lost weight…_

_Put my heart on my chest, so that you can see it too…_

_The lace in your dress tingles my neck…_

It wasn't until then that Yuri swore he saw the katsudon's eye twitch in recognition. Sadness, and then a dress? Definitely a wedding dress. He could only brace himself for the moment of truth.

_The death of a bachelor…_

The katsudon visibly deflated.

The tension in his shoulders from the uncomfortable seating arrangements immediately transformed into pure defeat, and Yuri took note with glee. The katsudon getting all worked up over a sad song? It was so hilarious, Yuri only hoped he could have gotten an inconspicuous video of it.

The song continued on, Viktor blissfully unaware and Otabek tense with apprehensiveness, the buzzkill. The katsudon's eyes stared forward, lacking his glasses, in distant thought while he most likely processed the lyrics in his mind.

_And when you think of me, am I the best you've ever had?_

_Share one more drink with me, smile even though you're sad…_

The katsudon burst into tears.

Oh shit.

He did a damn good job at hiding them for a minute, but Yuri was watching too intently, he knew the words by heart and was focused in eager anticipation of getting any sort of rise out of the gross couple. Eyes wide, Yuri could only watch out of the corner of his eye as Viktor unconsciously glanced over to his fiancé at the strange sound, but was completely taken aback when the katsudon was ugly crying.

"Yuuri?" His voice was full of concern and nervousness, and it almost made Yuri feel bad. "Oh, god, Yuuri, please don't tell me you're getting cold feet. Is it my forehead? I'm so sorry I asked you to walk Makkachin the other morning, it was just so cold outside and you were already up and I needed to call Chris and-"

His driving was getting erratic, his words not having any effect on the katsudon. Otabek hit Yuri's leg, hard, to get his attention and encourage him to put a stop to it, but Yuri was absolutely dumbfounded by the exchange, his very being starting to tremble.

"No, Viktor! Don't you get it?" The katsudon practically shouted over the wind, music, and choked sobs. "It's the death of a bachelor! I'm murdering you!" All of the anxiety that was bundled up in the skater with a heart of glass was pouring out, all because of Yuri.

Viktor was trying to keep his eyes on the road, but there was so much confusion and fear in them, he was struggling. "Yuuri, what are you talking about? I don't-"

All of the stress the piggy had been under from the wedding. The planning, the setup, getting everyone a ticket to Hasetsu and back, everyone in the onsen for a week, Viktor ordering a pole and a case of champagne. Yuri finally realized what was actually happening and guilt washed over him like a wave.

"It's the song I'm playing," Yuri finally interjected with an unsteady voice, "it's about a guy getting married." He didn't want to explain it further, both Viktor and Otabek's eyes glaring into him with fire.

" _Yuuri_ ," Viktor pleaded in his serious, unanimated voice, a rare occurrence. "Do you think I'm sad to be marrying you?"

The katsudon sobbed for a few more seconds before responding in messy, accent-heavy English. "I-I don't know, maybe? I just, you're the world's hottest bachelor! I'm taking you away from the world, I-"

The katsudon paused just as the stereo blared out another emphatic _death of a bachelor_ , and Viktor reached over and clicked the button to turn the sound system off entirely.

They began pulling into the parking lot of the rehearsal venue, and the sobs coming from the piggy went into Yuri's ears and shivered down Yuri's spine, his chest was tight, his eyes burned…

Tears began to stream down Yuri's face openly, and Otabek's usually blank eyes went wide with surprise.

Two sobbing figure skaters, a Yuuri and a Yuri, stumbled blindly out of the convertible and onto the curb. The wedding procession had been waiting outside and got excited when the car pulled up, but went silent at the sight.

Viktor finally found himself undistracted enough to take the opportunity to calm his fiancé down, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him close, sobs muffled in Viktor's shoulder. Yuri's stomach curled in disgust at the display, but his guilt overpowered it.

"Yuuri," Viktor practically purred in pure affection and attention, "I could never be sad about marrying you. Marrying you is the best thing that will ever happen to me." He peeled the katsudon off of him, the sobs slowing, as he grabbed his fiancé's right hand and kissed then gold ring on his finger. "And for me being a bachelor? Good riddance."

The piggy finally calmed down enough to smile sheepishly, and the couple embraced, the crowd cheering as they reconciled.

"Gross," Yuri muttered through tears, vaguely directed at Otabek, as they stood off to the side.

"You got what you deserved," he reprimanded, arms crossed.

Yuri sniffed one more time. "Yeah, probably."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
